August 1, 2011

“Mike, is that a nun on your arm or are you just happy to see us? It may be his first visit to the hallowed halls of Paragon Men (in honor of our second birthday, the rest of the men this month are reader favorites), but I nominate Montreal Mike as most likely to result in a sticky keyboard!

True to Montreal form, he’s got the bursting musclebound bod, hung cock (long and thick) and arrives on time. He even comes on cue! He has the maleman creed down: “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom will stay this courier from the completion of his appointed rounds.” In our Penthouse, Mike delivers in a steamy, wet and wild j/o scene to rival Katrina!

We got him long, hard and lathered rubbing it out in a giant shower – the better to fit his massive member. He’s a one-man masturbathon! Dude even fogged up our asexual camera!

Forget his XXX brute masculinity and questionable English – Mike’s got a good heart, a sweet demeanor, and his favorite body parts on others are holes and mouths. Mais oui!”

August 2011

“When you think of Miami, do you picture pastel Art Deco design? Here comes something meatier! The symmetry of superstud Joao Caneco laid to bed in a steamy spread worthy of Architectural Digest.

He just won Mr. Miami bodybuilding – even his jock is bursting with pride! Who wants to be his sponsor? For more of this hard-bodied, protein shake spurting beauty, hit him up at www.joaocanecomodel.com

Because Miami is a HOTBED for hunks, we’re setting up our own studio space to capture the virtual feast of all Joao’s Latino dopplebangers! Maybe we’ll get a gang of similar raven haired gods, put them together in a room and see what the camera captures?

Joao has been modeling up a storm ever since we shot him last year, and he’s got a new fetish too – vajazzled vajayjay. Pink parts pressed with jewels for King Stud? Step to the front of the line!

We retain hard hopes to lure him, totally naked and fully erect, into our Penthouse next time – from the glimpses of his breathtaking endowment, Joao is big and perfect EVERYWHERE – until then, we remain speechless at the artistry he performs in our gallery just lying down and breathing (and baring his magnificent ass). Say AHHHH.”

August 2011

“2nd year? 2nd to None! If you’ve got a rapier wit and a hatful of cocky you better back it up, sexy. Luke Martin backs it up and fills out his first-ever full frontal – and you ain’t gonna find a more apt (rapt?) piece of blue jeaned, blue collared beefstud this side of the Ozarks!

He’s giving off a five alarm fire realness that makes you want to stop, drop, roll over and wonder: Did I pack the knee pads? Luke likes a low-drama partner who rides him treats him like a trophy.

The worst pick up line he’s endured: “Hey, smell this rag!” Uh huh. We’re bound, gagged and chloroformed by his meatyman XXXX form. We don’t mind what’s sore in the morning just so long as we can fantasize about Luke Martin and his massive thighs, Brazilian strip of pubic hair leading to his thick helmeted cock stiff as a 2×4 in our hardcore spread.

He was so turned on after our long session with a raging hard-on that he turned around and rubbed one out, promising to give his fans the full geyser next, ahem, shoot. The taunting bastard. We won’t stalk you, Luke, but we can if you like.”

August 2011

“Talk about a hunger. Marco Ferrara makes us feel like Amy Winehouse at Liquorland. Sorry, is it too soon?

You’ll forgive the rude if we move to lewd and admit that – yes, Marco Ferrara eats his own copious cum in our smoking XXX Penthouse video!

He was one of our first models and, having wowed our subscribers with his gorgeous-bodybuilder/contortionist-who-jerks-off-while-doing-splits routine, he’s back to show us that the second ride is, yes, bigger than the first! He’s been training – watch him grow – to be an executive bodyguard. Gaze galore at his hot hard papi sausage and a mass index the masses come for!

Marvel at the perfectly pinchable nipples, heaving chest with a handsome face to match. Marco gets it rock hard and raring (cue the sound of revving engines) to go for you today! On a lighter note, he’s got a pet parrot.

Which takes our animal minds back to majestic macaws, soaring over prehistoric jungles, the last link to dinosaurs, all the way back to the combustible big bang – and, naturally, Marco. The Incredible Bulk!”