September 2011

“Put this up the wall and worship pit. Er, worship it! All of him. Whatever! Gallery God Alan Valdez defies all the laws of science, having macroevolved into a new species – one with immortal abs and an impossibly ripped physique.

Imagine gazing into your well-appointed garden and seeing Alan Valdez materialize, naked. That’s what happened when we shot in the lush greenery of the Flamingo Inn. Blue haired hotel guests poured out of their rooms to start their own photo shoots – which got Alan all worked up (to your advantage). My how your garden grows!

Fresh-faced Mr. Perfect is a pro at fitness covers, photo books, and exercise DVDs. Finally, feeling the burn translates to the libido. Born in Mexico, Valdez plans to scorch up action films. We’re unsure if that’s a euphemism, but we’ll take more (or less fabric!) of his Paragon behind-the-scenes video!

In a partner, he searches for someone compatible with the long-term relationship he seeks. So, like, more than two hours? Fine, we’ll settle for 20 minutes in the bathroom stall, baby. Is that too much to ask? Click to see him in action!”

September 2011

“Don’t let the bashful grin fool you. Brandon Lewis is a cocksure cat who can come on command! And he does in our Penthouse – blowing gobs of hot boy spunk right when we tell him to. Atta boy, Brandon. Dude was in construction until the housing bust forced him to hammer into porn. The A-Frame’s loss is our A-List gain!

Brandon grew up wanting to be a pro baseball player – and guess what? Batter’s still up! If there were a world series of cock, his would be a home run. It’s thick, it’s rich, it’s buttery. You can practically put it on pancakes.

This homegrown hero won our Paragon Men contest at Splash Bar in New York where his shy personae mixed with rock hard moves have those in attendance recalling the night as unforgettable; a legend on par with the slutty blackout of ’03.

In person, he’s got a Southern drawl, cuz he’s from Atlanta and that’s how they speak: A little bit dumb, a little bit Rhett Butler. Yessir, he’s genteel, resurrecting simple courtesies like writing love letters, holding open car doors and shooting pure poetry in our Penthouse. Chivalry is a gooey hot load!

Did we mention he cums on cue? All for you. Now.”

September 2011

“The fuckability quotient officially went off the charts! Move over Carmen Miranda – meet the real Brazilian Bombshell. Aint no tutti frutti here! Dalton is 100% mammal – bathed in a body hair he promises never, ever to shave. That’s a man with conviction! He’s got the sexy nasal accent of his Portuguese tongue, tattoos for days, and the glossy gorgeous face of Ricky Martin – only dirtier and without the cloying kids.

Dalton’s got a penchant for acting classical theatre upon the stage. Did Shakespeare do cum shots? Dalton would make the Bard blush with the streamy, creamy, grunt-filled performance he doth ooze for Paragon Men.

When it comes to a partner in, he likes someone “calm” to temper his “crazy”, claiming he needs to be kept him in line. Ready the leashes! In the sack he’s sweet because, he notes, you get more flies with honey. Oh honey, fuck the flies – save the sticky for Dalton!

Asking what makes this man sizzle is pointless. Futile, like asking why trees don’t have social security numbers or what happened to Taylor Dayne’s career. The proof is in the spoof pudding. Did you hear that? It’s the sound of a thick tropical load touching down in our Penthouse. Head over to experience the devastation first hand – levee or not, here he comes.”

September 2011

“Confuscious said, “Big man no necessarily mean big dick.” But ancient Chinese wisdom is dead wrong in the case of Martin Roberts – a man with a barrel chest to match his veiny tubesteak. Lest we forget (perish the thought!) the rich ballsack clinging sweaty to his thigh. We’ve met philanthropists less generous!

He fantasizes about supermarket sex, which conjures all manner of unsanitary images: Martin lying seductively in the produce section (bring your own banana!), rolling around smothered in mayo on aisle five, we could go on but it’s getting awkward. Nevertheless, the sinful thoughts in your head have been asked to stay. Martin mesmerizes that way.

We found Martin at the gym. Yes, he was discovered – like uranium, gravity and Hedy Lamar. And much like those discoveries, he is a force to be reckoned with! Hailing from Argentina, we picture him as a bolero-swinging gaucho prowling the pampas. One we were able to capture and put to bed pumping exclusively for Paragon. Que rico! Envying the lucky white sheets sullied by his manly eau de testosterone? No worries, they’ll be up for auction in the gift shop.

Whoever said money doesn’t buy happiness clearly doesn’t know where to shop. For a small fee, enter our smoldering Penthouse where you can lie down snug as a bug in his XXX rug!”

September 2011

“Real Man of the Month Bo Banger is so banging that after posting pics on Facebook, his account was instantly deleted for breeching terms of decency. We won’t censor here! Get your fill of this former Navy hero in our Penthouse where he’s showing us his firm and cruisy stern, aft, mast and (oh yes!) starboard!

Pierced, inked, and adventurous – Bo likes getting tied up and browbeaten by military/policeman/uniformed sadists – which is odd, because that is exactly how we’d describe this alpha stud! He’s a rugged man who likes it tough – except when it comes to the occasional chick flick (he’s a sucker for Fried Green Tomatoes).

Bo’s also got a winning smile, though he doesn’t reveal it easily. It takes a special one to crack that nut. His smile is like a secret, a Dahlia bloom, or Brigadoon. It arrives when it wants to. Thankfully for those of us who admire him, smiles are immediate and often.

He’s here to show off all the hard work he’s done to stay in killer shape and this photo shoot captures it all. His secrets unveiled like from a time capsule – one you really must swallow. God willing.”